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r boyfriend and her future。 She’d cried a lot and rebuffed all my attempts to fort her。
“I’m twenty; almost;” she’d told me so often that my teeth ached。 “I am an adult!”
Each time I silently replied; No; you are not。 You still watch cartoons; and expect me to do your laundry; and ask me to pick up toothpaste for you when I go to the grocery store。
Now she is gone; off to be an adult far away from me。 I’m glad she’s gone。 She’s impossible and cranky2 and difficult to get along with。 I am sick of fighting; tired of her tantrums。
Her father is angry。 He watches television and will not speak。 He helped her with the down payment on the truck and got her a good deal。 He slipped her cash before she left。 I want to say。 If only you hadn’t helped her buy the truck; she would still be here。 It’s a lie。
“I am never ing back;” she told me。 “I’m a grown…up now。 I want to live。”
What had she been doing for twenty years? Existing in suspended animation?
The cat is upset by the suitcases and boxes and unspoken recriminations。 She’s hiding。 For a moment I fear she’s sneaked into the truck; gone off with my daughter on an adventure from which I am forbidden。
She left a mess。 Her bathroom is an embarrassment of damp towels; out…of…date cosmetics; hair in the sink; and nearly empty shampoo3 bottles。 Ha! Some grown…up! She can’t even pick up after herself。 I’ll show her。 She doesn’t want to live with me; doesn’t want to be my baby girl anymore; fine。 I can be even stinkier than she is。
I bring a box of big black garbage bags upstairs。 Eye shadow; face cream; glitter nail polish and astringent—into the trash。 I dump drawers and sweep shelves clear of gels; mousse; body wash; and perfume。 I refuse to consider what
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