第15部分(第3/6 页)

I　had　none。　I　made　a　pretense　of　looking　around；　before　shaking　my　head。

When　he　dropped　to　the　grass　and　placed　his　head　on　folded　arms；　I　felt　his　tiredness　and　despair。　A　sudden　tightness　caught　at　my　throat。　He　could　be　my　son；　I　thought。　He　looks　as　young　as　Alice。　I　knew　he　must　be　hungry。　What　could　I　give　him？　The　icebox　held　so　little：　some　milk；　a　knob　of　butter；　and　a　few　slices　of　bologna　for　Aice’s　supper。

一双新鞋（4）

“e　in　out　of　the　sun。　Sit　on　the　porch；”　I　said；　surprised　at　the　frankness　of　my　mand。　“I’ll　get　you　something　to　eat。”　Emotions　had　a　way　of　getting　mixed　up　these　difficult　days　and　I　couldn’t　trust　mine；　just　as　I　couldn’t　bear　the　shame…faced　look　of　gratitude　in　his　eyes。　As　I　climbed　the　steps　to　the　house；　I　became　angry　at　myself；　at　my　helplessness；　at　my　empty　cupboards；　at　the　unrelenting　drought；　at　the　whole　damned　suffering　country。

I　sliced　a　loaf　of　bread　with　vicious　swipes　of　the　knife；　jerked　open　the　ice…box　for　milk；　twisted　the　lid　off　a　jar　of　home…made　jam；　as　though　my　frenzied　actions　would　wipe　out　the　feeling　of　guilt　at　offering　him　so　little。　When　I　carried　the　food　to　the　porch；　I　saw　the　boy　near　the　garden；　rinsing　his　shirt　in　one　of　the　pails。　I　beckoned　to　him；　left　him　my　scanty　offering；　and　returned　indoors。

Despite　the　drawn　blinds；　the　house　had　trapped　the　heat　and　had　bee　an　airless　box　of　yellow　light。　My　flowered　print　dress　clung　to　me　in　wet　patches。　On　each　patch；　the　faded　daisies4　dared　to　bloom。　I　dropped　into　an　armchair　and　swung　my　swollen　feet　up　on　a　hassock。

When　the　sharp　slap　of　the　screen　door　awakened　me；　I　was　startled。

“Mama；　where　are　you？”

I　struggled　to　my　feet　and　found　Alice　sitting　at　the　kitchen　table；　her　head　and　shoulde