第15部分(第2/6 页)
行动时,对于会有什么样的结果发生,你无从知晓——或许成功,或许失败。然而,失败并不意味着毫无价值。事实上,我们往往能从失败中学到更多的东西。
假如你犯了一个错误,或是未达到自己所期望的标准,你很可能会在真我与所谓的犯错者之间构筑一道壁垒。然而,对以往的行为全盘否定,势必会让你感到内疚、自责。深陷其中,你就不可能从中汲取有益的东西。因此,过分苛求自己时,最需要的就是自我宽恕。
宽恕就是放下情感上的包袱,抹平心灵上的创伤。它有四种类型:
第一种是对自己的初级宽恕。
第二种是对他人的初级宽恕。
第三种是对自己更深层次的宽恕。这种宽恕是针对自己深感羞愧的极大恶行而言。如果你所做的事有悖于自己的价值观和道德观,这时,你就在自己的为人准则和实际行动间制造了一道裂痕。这种情况下,你就必须努力悔改,以此来弥补过错,并要重新找到自我。当然,这并不是说你可以随意原谅自己,毫无悔意,但一味地埋怨自己是不健康的,过分地自我惩罚只会让你偏离自己道德准则的轨道越来越远。
第四种可能是最难的一种宽恕——是对他人更深层次的宽恕。生活中,你也许会受到极大委屈和伤害。以此来看,这似乎是不可原谅的。但是,心怀怨恨、企图报复只会使你陷于受伤害的阴影中。在这种情况下,你就要强迫自己放宽胸怀。只有这样,才能把注意力转移开来,不至于一味地沉浸在恼怒和仇恨中。只有做到宽恕,你才能忘却过错,净化心灵。于是,当你最终把自己解脱出来时,很自然地,你就会把它看成是成长过程中必不可少的一部分。
There Are No Mistakes; Only Lessons
Anonymous
Human growth is a process of experimentation; trial; and error; ultimately leading to wisdom。 Each time you choose to trust yourself and take action; you can never quite be certain how the situation will turn out。 Sometimes you are victorious; and some times you bee disillusioned。 The failed experiments; however; are no less valuable than the experiments that ultimately prove successful; in fact; you usually learn more from your perceived “failures” than you do from your perceived “successes”。
If you have made what you perceive to be a mistake; or failed to live up to your own expectations; you will most likely put up a barrier between your essence and the part of you that is the alleged wrong doer。 However; perceiving past actions as mistakes implies guilt and blame; and it is not possible to learn anything meaningful while you are engaged in blaming。 Therefore; forgiveness is required when you are harshly judging yourself。
Forgiveness is the act of erasing an emotional debt。 There are four kinds of forgiveness:
The first is
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