第16部分(第1/7 页)

he　past！〃　I　say。

¨Then　lie！　Make　something　up！〃　says　Haymitch。

¨Iˇm　not　good　at　lying；〃　I　say。

¨Well；　you　better　learn　fast。　Youˇve　got　about　as　much　charm　as　a　dead　slug；〃　says　Haymitch。

Ouch。　That　hurts。　Even　Haymitch　must　know　heˇs　been　too　harsh　because　his　voice　softens。　¨Hereˇs　an　idea。　Try　acting　humble。〃

¨Humble；〃　I　echo。

¨That　you　canˇt　believe　a　little　girl　from　District　Twelve　has　done　this　well。　The　whole　thingˇs　been　more　than　you　ever　could　have　dreamed　of。　Talk　about　Cinnaˇs　clothes。　How　nice　the　people　are。　How　the　city　amazes　you。　If　you　wonˇt　talk　about　yourself；　at　least　pliment　the　audience。　Just　keep　turning　it　back　around；　all　right。　Gush。〃

The　next　hours　are　agonizing。　At　once；　itˇs　clear　I　cannot　gush。　We　try　me　playing　cocky；　but　I　just　donˇt　have　the　arrogance。　Apparently；　Iˇm　too　¨vulnerable〃　for　ferocity。　Iˇm　not　witty。　Funny。　Sexy。　Or　mysterious。

By　the　end　of　the　session；　I　am　no　one　at　all。　Haymitch　started　drinking　somewhere　around　witty；　and　a　nasty　edge　has　crept　into　his　voice。　¨I　give　up；　sweetheart。　Just　answer　the　questions　and　try　not　to　let　the　audience　see　how　openly　you　despise　them。〃

I　have　dinner　that　night　in　my　room；　ordering　an　outrageous　number　of　delicacies；　eating　myself　sick；　and　then　taking　out　my　anger　at　Haymitch；　at　the　Hunger　Games；　at　every　living　being　in　the　Capitol　by　smashing　dishes　around　my　room。　When　the　girl　with　the　red　hair　es　in　to　turn　down　my　bed；　her　eyes　widen　at　the　mess。　¨Just　leave　it！〃　I　yell　at　her。　¨Just　leave　it　alone！〃

I　hate　her；　too；　with　her　knowing　reproachful　eyes　that　call　me　a　coward；　a　monster；　a　puppet　of　the　Capitol；　both　now　and　then。　For　her；　justice　must　finally　be　happening。　At　least　my　death　will　help　pa